How to Not Be Ugly
1. Walking with your Hands in your Pants Pockets
Young guys do this all the time. I think it’s a subconscious defensive mechanism because what you’re doing when your hands are in your pocket is trying to hide yourself.
It mimics a feeling of hiding and avoidance aka submissive body language. Now there’s a difference in how you put your hands in your pockets, sometimes it can make you look more dominant, but a lot of the time, it makes you look weak and timid.
Jamming your hands in your pockets makes you look timid and like a noob who can’t even confidently walk down the street or a hallway without needing to hide part of yourself.
Square up, keep your chest forward and out, back straight, and walk like there’s a badass explosion behind you.
2. Having Ready to Pop Pimples on your Face
You know what I’m talking about, when you’re walking around or talking to someone and see that they have a huge white head sticking out and ready to burst at any second.
Broooo you gotta take care of that shit. Once you see the white head, it’s time to pop that bitch. It makes everyone around you feel uncomfortable and it’s like having a live projectile missile on your face that’s ready to explode onto anyone within a 5 foot radius of you.
Hell, sometimes I feel like they’re gonna sneeze and it’s gonna squirt out onto me. And just to clarify, this is no hate on people who get pimples or have acne, everyone gets pimples from time to time.
I have a pimple on my godly face as I’m voicing this right now, but you know as soon as it turns white, I’m popping that sucker ASAP.
3. Always Wearing a Hat
You know those guys who are always wearing a hat no matter what the occasion is? They’re usually wearing the same hat over and over again, day in and day out, and it’s almost always backwards? Like these kinds of dudes could go to f**king space and they’d still be wearing a hat in their astronaut suit.
Yeah that’s exactly what I’m talking about don’t do that. Wearing a hat all the time ruins the scope of your style and makes you look one-dimensional.
And even worse it makes people wonder whether you even wash it. It makes girls wonder whether or not you’ll keep it on during s*x. Moral of the story. Don’t be the guy who’s always wearing a hat.
4. Constantly Hand inside your Pant
Yeah you know what I’m talking about. That thing guys do for whatever reason where they’re constantly reaching down and diddling themselves and feeling to make sure they’re dick didn’t fall off.
Yeah, cut that shit out. It’s unnecessary, makes you look like an uncivilized caveman, and girls hate it. I’m the god of the universe baby, if I don’t feel the need to constantly reach down and readjust my asteroid sized balls then you don’t need to either.
5. Not Whitening your Teeth
You ever notice how super attractive people like models and other famous people have super crazy white teeth? Well that’s because they actively whiten their teeth, beyond just normal teeth brushing like most people do. By not whitening your teeth, you’re leaving attractiveness points on the table.
6. Wearing Jerseys When you go out to the Club or to a Party
This is the ultimate facepalm right here. Listen to me carefully, I’m gonna have it on big letters on the screen so it’s really simple. DON’T WEAR JERSEY WHEN YOU’RE TRYING TO GO OUT AND GET LAID.
It literally only gets other guys to hit on you and circle jerk over sports and what your favorite team is. And hey listen, if you want to talk to more guys then by all means.
If you want to wear your jersey then that’s fine, totally cool, wear it whenever you want, just not when you’re going out to try and meet girls. It won’t win you any points, and it’ll lose you a ton.
7. Being Aggressive over Nothing aka Playing the Tough Guy
If you’ve ever been to a party or a nightclub, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Guy #1 accidentally bumps into Guy #2, and then Guy #2 gets all offended over it for no reason and makes a scene. For Waqas sake don’t do this. It makes you look like a loser when you get all upset and excited over some dumb shit.
It doesn’t make you look cool, it just makes you look like a douche. And even worse, it’s dangerous. What if one day you end up accidentally starting a scene with the wrong guy and he strikes you down with lightning. what are you gonna do then?
If you’re currently somebody who does this, here’s my advice, Get a life. This way you’ll have way more important things to worry about than somebody accidentally bumping into you or looking at you for too long.
I’m gonna keep this brief because it seems obvious but the amount of neckbeard I see when I go out is unacceptable.
Here’s the rule:
You shave often enough so that you don’t get neckbeard in the first place, AND you shave right up to the top of your Adam’s apple, right below the neckline and that’s where your beard should end.
No further than that. Otherwise, you might as well start growing tomatoes out of that jungle on your neck.
9. Having Beer Breath
Seriously, girls hate this. Guys hate this. I hate this. Nobody wants to have a conversation with you where they’re forced to hold their breath while you finish a sentence.
If you’re going out and planning on drinking beer do the world a favor and bring some fucking gum or breath mints with you.
10. Nose Hair
This one is often overlooked since your nose hair doesn’t usually grow as fast but it’s extremely important.
Make sure you regularly trim your nose hair and check your nose daily to make sure there aren’t any piece sticking out and ready to poke someone in the eye.
11. I really hate to repeat myself here but this has gotten out of hand. I see this every time I leave Mt. Olympus
STOP WEARING BASKETBALL SHORTS, SWEATPANTS, AND THOSE STUPID SOCKS WITH THE NIKE SLIPPERS. This is the epitome of being horribly dressed and it makes you look like a slob.
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