How to Stop Being Awkward
1. Whenever you’re in an Uncomfortable Situation Call it Out
I was at the supermarket the other day, and I saw a dude aggressively wiping down his shopping cart with purell wipes. We made eye contact and he laughed and pointed out how funny he looked.
He said, “I’m a germophobe and I’ve seen too many gross people shopping in here before so I gotta take measures into my own hands haha.” We had a conversation about it and I wiped down my shopping cart with him too.
If he was an awkward guy, he would’ve just immediately broken eye contact and walked away. When you call out the silliness or the awkwardness of a situation, it shows that YOU also understand that what’s going on is maybe silly or a bit uncomfortable.
When you acknowledge it, it shows that you’re
1. Comfortable and Confident in Yourself.
2. It Shows you’re Socially Aware Enough to Call out the Awkwardness.
Situations are usually only as awkward as you make them. In a dating scenario, I’ve had plenty of times where I go to approach a girl, we make eye contact and then something or someone walks in between us and I’m stuck for a few seconds just making eye contact with her and too far to say anything.
As soon as I get close enough afterward, I call it out and laugh. I’ll say something like, “Of course when I come up to hit on you, I get interrupted and we have to endure a long awkward pause haha. anyways, I’m waqas.” Showing that you’re OK with awkwardness and can call it out, immediately makes everyone around feel more comfortable and it takes the pressure off a situation.
If they can endure your awkward moment with you, they feel at ease knowing that if they do something awkward, you’ll react positively to it.
2. Use ‘Exposure Stacking’
Most guys get anxious to talk to girls because they’ve never really done it before. Therefore, it feels awkward and uncomfortable. But if you can expose yourself to it, then you’ll be less uncomfortable, the more often you do it.
I call this, ‘Exposure Stacking’. Start by making eye contact with girls you find pretty on the street, and not breaking eye contact until she looks away.
Once you do that a few times and feel comfortable, step it up one notch and make eye contact, smile, and nod. Once you feel comfortable doing that, you can start saying making eye contact and greeting people on the street with a “hi” followed by a smile.
Just as long as it’s not creepy, ‘come to my basement’ smile, OK? Stacking and increasing your exposure to interactions with girls and people in general over time will make you less awkward and more charismatic.
And there’s no excuse NOT to do this tip because you can do it as you go about your day, anytime you’re walking somewhere where there are other people around, you can practice. So no excuses buddy. Just do it like Nike.
3. Lower Your Expectations of What Dictates a “Good Conversation”
The reason a lot of guys freeze up and get stuck in conversation is that they have an unrealistic idea of what a good conversation should be like.
You think convos are supposed to be super smooth and witty like the movies all the time, but the reality is way less glamorous. Conversations are way more normal and laid back.
If something a girl says gives you a good opportunity to tease her or flirt with her then take advantage of it but don’t force it, and more importantly, don’t feel pressured if it doesn’t happen on its own.
I’ve said this before but “Your feelings are only as important as you make them out to be. Mind over matter.
In the grand scheme of the universe, you think your feelings of shyness are so important that they’re an excuse not to take action and go for the girls and life you want?” When you have a ton of preconceptions of what a good conversation is supposed to be like, it takes you out of the present moment and locks you in your head.
Focus on what she’s saying, and respond in the most authentic and playful way possible and you’ve won half the battle.
Being present and at the moment in conversations is what makes them engaging and increases how charismatic you appear, so calming down your mental chatter is key.
4. Keep Strong Eye Contact
This is an obvious one that I’ve talked about before, but it helps with the previous tip because when you’re locked in and making strong eye contact, it helps you stay present and in tune with what’s happening in the conversation.
You can also practice this one throughout the day as you walk around and interact with other people.
- Call out uncomfortable situations and make light of them.
- Use ‘exposure stacking’
- Lower your expectations of what a ‘good conversation’
- Maintain strong eye contact.
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