How to Text the Girl You Like
So you’re a young guy who’s trying to get more dates with gorgeous girls. But every time you send a text message, one of the following happens:
- You get left on ‘Read’ AKA no response.
- She answers, hooray! But it’s a dry, one-word response that leaves you stuck with nothing to say.
- She outright blocks you.
Well no more, my friend. Instead of giving you a whole bible of stuff to remember, today, I’m going to show you my 1 texting trick that will skyrocket your response rate.
Seriously, once you start doing this, you’ll immediately start getting responses, today, and your conversations with women will start to flow effortlessly.
And not to mention, it’ll lead to way more dates for you. I mean c’mon the whole reason you’re texting a girl is to get on a date with her and actually get to know her, this isn’t 4th grade bro, pen pals are a thing of the past.
But wait, you’re probably wondering, “Waqas, how do I know this works?” Well, that’s an excellent question, most Peoples who give advice these days just say the same shit like ‘be confident!’ ‘make sure your hair looks nice!’ like DUH, man could you get any more obvious?
An open-ended message is exactly what it sounds like, it’s when you send a message that allows for a broad and free response from the girl, rather than asking simple yes or no questions.
Sounds simple but let me show you what this actually looks like in practice, so you can download it into your head.
Let’s say you were texting a girl and you wanted to ask her: “Do you like cats or dogs?” Instead of phrasing the message in a rigid, either or manner, an example of OEM would instead be: “Please tell me you like dogs.”
See what I did there? It’s very subtle, but it’s ESSENTIAL for the flow of the conversation. Instead of feeling transactional and logical, it starts to feel emotional and playful. I’m creating stakes in the conversation.
Now she can sense that if she says she DOESN’T like dogs, I’m going to tease her and poke fun at her which makes the perception of the conversation much more interesting moving forward.
Instead of asking her a question and making her feel like she’s taking a multiple-choice exam, I phrased it in a broader, more open-ended way, so that it elicits more of a response.
This provokes emotion and makes her feel like she needs to complete the train of thought you were on since you’re phrasing it as if there’s more to what you were saying.
There are 4 types of Open-Ended Messages that you can easily start using in conversation ASAP:
- Flat Compliments
Let’s first start with assumptions, the first example of saying “Please tell me you like dogs”, is a prime example of an assumption.
You’re making an assumption about her or her interests and saying it in a playful tone. When people make an assumption about you, it creates two types of emotional responses.
If it’s correct, you feel a weird sense of comfort since your actions and physical appearance confirm something about you to others.
It’s essentially confirming something about your identity, it evokes a positive feeling in you that makes you curious about how the person knew.
If they make the wrong assumption, it evokes curiosity and interest because then she starts to wonder “oH mY gOd wHy wOuLd yOu tHink tHaT??”
The second type of OEM is Questions. This is exactly what you’d imagine it to be, it’s when you ask the girl a question, typically about something specific in order to entice a response from her.
Let me just show you an example so you can see what i mean. I matched with a girl on Tinder, and in one of her pics, I noticed that she had these super bright, reflective shorts that looked like a disco ball.
Seriously, they looked like something out of Saturday Night Fever. Oh wait, that movie came out in the 70s, you guys are all like 17, you don’t even know what I’m talking about haha! Point is they were bright.
So I used the Question OEM, and simply asked ‘where did you get those reflective shorts’. Simple enough, right? But here’s the absolutely CRUCIAL thing: The question itself doesn’t matter; what does matter is the way you ask it.
Notice beforehand I prefaced the question by building up the tension and raising the stakes beforehand, by saying “I have an important question.”
And that’s the Bonus Tip: Include a ‘hook’ before your open-ended message, it’s basically a message you send right before that hooks their attention, so that they’re fully invested in what you say next, which is the open-ended message.
This works best with questions but it can also work with all the other types of OEMs I discuss here in this article.
You’ll notice in the assumption OEM I mentioned earlier, I used the words ‘please tell me…’ as my hook before assuming she liked dogs.
Here are some examples of ‘hooks’ you can preface your OEMs with:
- ‘I have an important question…’
- ‘I have to know… ’
- ‘Please tell me…’
- ‘I have good news…’
- ‘I have bad news… ’
Using these are a game-changer for making your text messages flow, building intrigue, and creating momentum. Remember, with no momentum in the conversation, she won’t have an incentive to respond since the conversation will feel stagnant.
And if she stops responding, then the momentum in your relationship stagnates as well and at that point, you can kiss your chances with her goodbye.
So, make sure you use these ‘hooks’ in your conversations FREQUENTLY. Got it? Good!
3. Flat Compliment
Now let me tell you about the 3rd type, the ‘Flat compliment’. This type of OEM is exactly what it sounds like, it’s when you subtly, and in a joking way compliment the girl in order to elicit a response.
Here’s a prime example, of a ‘flat compliment’ in action. In a middle of a tinder conversation with a beautifully blonde lady, I ask her ‘Is your naturally that blonde? If so, you clearly have the superior genes’.
This is a great way to compliment a girl in conversation because it gets her to respond. Direct and overt compliments like ‘you’re hot’ or ‘you’re cute’ are bad and are guaranteed to get you ghosted because they’re so overused, feel ingenuine, and don’t provoke a strong response other than a simple ‘thanks’.
It gives her no reason to respond, it builds no momentum, and it’s just simply no fun. You want to give her the impression that responding to you will lead to a fun and engaging conversation.
Overt compliments do the exact OPPOSITE. Flat compliments allow you to talk about the thing you complimented without directly having to have the conversation centered around how hot you think she is which is a pretty bad topic if you’re trying to actually connect with her.
It also leaves the topic more open to move the conversation in different directions more smoothly. Going from ‘you’re hot’ to what her favorite movie is, is a totally out of left field jump and feels really unnatural. This is why flat compliments are sooo much better.
Last up, the 4th OEM is the ‘challenge’ which is when you’re challenging her to some sort of playful tease that is often competitive.
Here’s an example:
A Girl swipes right on him and since her profile clearly showed that she was into fashion, he sent a challenge OEM by saying, “Wow your sense of style is ALMOST better than mine”
This is an obvious example of a challenge because he’s saying her sense of style is *almost*, keyword being *almost* better than his.
By saying this he’s playfully implying that they’re competing for who has the better style, and she goes along with that frame by saying it’s a close contest of who did it better.
Now the conversation has some momentum built up and has a fun direction it’s going in, with all those me and your undertones.
Starting to see how this works, my disciple?? Let’s summarize this bad boy.
- Open ended messages are one of the most important tools you have for building momentum with a girl, and more importantly attraction.
The 4 types of OEMs are:
- Flat compliments
Use these in your convos, and you’ll be getting responses and dates left and right my friend.
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