Have you ever gotten out of a relationship and thought to yourself dang what was I thinking? Well, let’s be honest, you probably weren’t thinking straight but seeing the relationship through rose colored glasses. And there’s nothing wrong with that, we’ve all done that.
However, if you want to avoid it the next time then stay tuned because I’ve got 5 Signs You Idolize Someone or a relationship coming up next for you.
Becoming the One, is that I help my clients to identify the reasons why they want to be with someone that doesn’t treat them right or why their past relationship didn’t work out.
I will ask them a bunch of questions and whenever they answer them we usually find out that they idolize the person or the relationship. For those of you who don’t know what idolizing means, here is a quick definition.
According to Merriam Webster, idolatry is the worship, blind adoration, or excessive devotion to person or a thing, meaning it’s really anything that you put before God.
When I find that out with my clients it usually is a problem because the relationship or the guy became more important to them than being obedient to Christ.
So, what I find usually is that sometimes they want to be with that person so badly that they even risk disobeying God and that obviously is a problem. It means that your focus is out of balance and getting you into trouble.
So, that’s why today I thought it was only right to share with you 5 signs that you’re idolizing a guy or a relationship so that you can change your behavior or get out of the relationship.
5 Signs You Idolize Someone
1. You Ignore all the Warning Signs
If you read my article on the five deal-breakers in a Christian relationship then you already know the red flags that give away that a guy is just not that into you or straight up playing you But at the same time I’m sure that your gut already told you that something is off.
It could be because he’s doing some crazy stuff like entertaining girls on social media, that he’s inconsistent and is MIA for days or weeks at a time, or that whenever you want to talk to him about the relationship he avoids or ignores you so that you forget about it eventually.
But despite all the warning signs you decide to stay because you idolize the potential of the relationship so much that you ignore your gut feeling and the Holy Spirit working inside of you to a point that you stay in a situation that you know is not right for you.
2. You Allow him to run all Over You
It really is a follow up point to number one because once a man realizes that you let all his wrong slide he now takes it a step further and blanket disrespects you.
Instead of just liking pictures on social media he now openly slides into other women’s DMs or he denies your status to other women and you find out about it.
He basically keeps hurting you emotionally by disrespecting, manipulating, and undermining you over and over again. But the worst thing is that you allow him to.
You find excuses for his behavior and ignore his actions. You want this to work out so badly that you accept his foolishness because you believe in his potential more than he strives for it.
3. You get Anxious
This one is really Important. You get anxious at the thought of him leaving. When you idolize a man or relationship you are desperate for the approval of that person and want to make sure that he is good even if it is at your own expense.
So you start tiptoeing around that person. You never speak up if you don’t like something. You are scared of showing your really emotions and feelings because you are scared that he gets mad or irritated about it.
Instead you try to find the mistake in yourself and decide that is safer not to demand too much so that you can keep him and you do that because you’re anxious to lose him. So, you do whatever it takes to keep him even if it it is at the expense of your own peace and wellbeing.
Listen, number three is the fastest way to an unhealthy relationship because that behavior attracts manipulation and toxicity.
4. You Love the Idea of Who he could be
Number four is that you are in love with who he could be more than who he is. And I think I briefly touched on it in point number two but it is worth repeating anyways. As women we oftentimes have a vision for our romantic relationships.
We know what the men, the kids, and our hair will look like on our wedding day but this thinking oftentimes sabotages our objectivity.
Because when you first meet someone or only are dating you really need to stay in the now and discern whether he is right for you or not.
But because of that vision, a lot of girls start obsessing over the idea of who he could be and suddenly start testing out their first names with his last names just because he likes them. I get it.
You see potential in him and that’s good but potential is not enough if he’s not backing it up with real action.
5. You don’t ask or Listen to God
Listen girls, this one might be too real for some of you but I will say it anyways. Let’s be honest. When we are in a relationship that doesn’t honor God or when we are with a guy that we know is not God’s best for us we get ashamed of talking to Jesus like we try to hide the relationship from God as if he doesn’t know.
And our prayers are about everything but the guy because we know that if we would truly pray about the relationship and about him God would be like, “Girl, what are you doing?”
So, if you find yourself not listening to God or better yet not even asking for guidance then that’s a clear sign that you’re idolizing the guy or the relationship because you have officially put this person before your obedience to God.
These are all the points that I have for you today but I want to leave you guys with a practical tool to help you discern whether or not you are idolizing a man or if he’s really the one for you.