What Women Want in a Man
Is that really true? Do women only care about money in this article? I’m going to use scientific methods to see if it’s actually true.
To find out the truth I went ahead and set up an experiment. A scientifically valid experiment. That means: not just asking a couple of your girlfriends or a random interview on the street.
Rather I made sure that the experiment involved lots and lots of women. Not just a few but hundreds. And then I needed to allow these hundreds of women to choose among men. There’s a scientific approach a statistical analysis technique called Conjoint Analysis.
It reveals people’s preferences by analyzing the choices that they make. When forced to make choices people reveal their true preferences.
I used the Conjoint Analysis to analyze women’s choices and determine what type of man women would like to date.
Here’s how I set up the experiment: I created lots and lots of different imaginary men: These men were different on a couple of important characteristics such as looks, physical attractiveness, height employment, kindness, ambition, intelligence, sense of humor, and confidence.
For every one of these attributes I just listed, I created men on a spectrum: for example for looks I created physically unattractive men, fairly normal looking men, and ripped bodybuilder look.
For height they were short men: 5’4″ average: 6’0″ and tall: 6’3″ Now for employment and here’s where the money comes in, they were unemployed men, men who make $30,000 a year, $75,000 a year, 150,000 a year and there were men who were millionaires.
For kindness, there were men that were always calm and kind and patient, men that were sometimes nice and sometimes insensitive, and men that were mostly rude.
In the same way, I created men for the various levels in all the other characteristics as well, and here’s how the experiment looked: Each man was a random combination of these attributes: Maybe unattractive but kind, makes $75,000 a year intelligent, has a great sense of humor, etc…
In the experiment, we showed women three men, each different on these attributes and we asked the women to vote on the man that they would like to date out of these three when.
They picked one and the three people would go away and a new set of three men would come again and again we would ask these women again: which of these three now would you like to date? And this went on and on, vote after vote women saw hundreds of different combinations of men.
Conjoint analysis was then used to find the patterns in these thousands of votes. I asked America’s one of America’s best-known survey panel providers Dynata to send out this online survey to two hundred randomly selected women.
To apply the statistical computations to the data I used Conjoint Analysis: I turned to the best software in the market Lighthouse Studio by Sawtooth Software to do the Conjoint Analysis.
To make the Conjoint Analysis results easy to understand Lighthouse Studio has a simulator and will use it to create a real-world simulation: this real-world simulation will be a game and let’s call this game “which of these three guys would women choose?” In the game let’s create three imaginary guys: Johnny Buddy and Jimmy.
These three guys are completely the same in all aspects: average height, kindness, average intelligence, looks, average everything.
Then we will change one characteristic about one of the guys – say Johnny – and we’ll see how that affects the chances of these guys being picked by women.
Ready? Let’s go. Because Johnny Buddy and Jimmy are completely the same in all aspects, each has exactly a 1 in 3 chance of being picked.
In percentage, Johnny has a 33% chance of being selected and so do the other two. But how would Johnny’s chance of being picked change if he was shorter? If he was 5’4″ instead of 6’0″ feet? Based on the data analyzed from using 200 women using Conjoint analysis, Johnny now has a 21% chance.
Okay so let’s go back to making them even again and this time what if Johnny was more intelligent? Above-average intelligence? Increasing Johnny’s intelligence would also increase his chances from 33% to 40% or 4 out of 10 women would pick Johnny!
What about humor? If everything else is the same except Johnny is more funnier how would that change his chances?
It turns out being funny does increase your chances! Very funny Johnny would attract 43% of the women now and the other two guys would only attract 28 – 28 percent each. Humor is more attractive than intelligence.
Okay so now let’s talk about money. If all else being equal except Johnny was unemployed while the other two guys have an average paying job, how would that affect Johnny’s chances? Turns out Johnny’s chances would plummet!
Only 9 out of 100 women would care to date unemployed Johnny. So if you want to date, either get a job or do not tell the girl that you don’t have a job.
Now let’s look at the flip side: what if Johnny had a job that pays nicely above the average? Would all the women flock to him? Well… He does have a much better chance now but not a huge amount.
Only 44% of the women would pick Johnny. That also means that 56% of the other women would not pick Johnny. Okay surely if we make Johnny a millionaire do we see all the women pick Johhny? Johnny had a 44 percent chance with the women with a well-paying job.
Now as a millionaire he would have a 48 % chance or we can also say the inverse: that 52 percent of the women would not care that he is a millionaire! So what’s the big takeaway? It is that women only care that you have a job, that you’re not unemployed.
After that, the majority of women DO NOT care if you’re a millionaire. So far having a job seems to be the most important character but is it the most important?
What if all else equal we made Johnny very unattractive? Do women care about your looks? Well yes, they do. Very unattractive Johnny would only be picked by 5 out of 100 women! And the other two guys would get the other 95 women.
Okay, so let’s see if Johnny can make up for his ugliness with money? Let’s make ugly Johnny a millionaire, surely that would bring him up to the level of the other two guys, right? Wrong… Turns out women don’t want unattractive.
Even if he’s a millionaire, ugly Johnny went from a 5% chance to a 7% chance. Not much of an improvement. The myth that women would go with just about anyone for money has been busted or rather scientifically disproved.
So what is the most important attribute? Well, we haven’t looked at kindness: let’s go back to all things being equal, and let’s make Johnny a very kind and patient person.
While the other two are just average. Johnny’s chances are now sixty-four percent while the other two dropped to 18 percent each. Wow, that’s a huge advantage. Let’s stay here for a second and now let’s also make Jimmy a rude person.
Now Johnny has a 72% chance and Jimmy’s chance plummeted to only 5%! That’s a huge difference, kindness probably a surprise to many men but likely unsurprising to most women has proven to be the MOST attractive feature about men.
The problem is that everyone is kind on the first date, so women probably start judging men on other things. But if you are truly a genuinely kind and loving person as a character trait, that is the most attractive feature.
This is how important kindness is: even if you have a job that pays below the average money but a genuinely kind and loving person, 53% of the women would still prefer you versus the other two guys with better-paying jobs! This is not an opinion, it’s based on a scientific study.
How important is kindness? Even if you’re 5’4″ and the other two guys are 6’0″, if you have a kind and loving character while the other two guys are just average, 42% of the women would pick you,
So based on a study of 200 American women of all races, incomes, marital status, using Conjoint Analysis what are the top 5 most important characteristics about men to be attractive? Number 5 is Intelligence Number 4 is Humor, number 3 is Employment/Wealth Number 2 is Looks and Physical Attractiveness and number 1 is Kindness of Character.
Well there you have it: Based on a scientific analysis of 200 women’s choice patterns, we can say women are waiting for a man who is employed, who is physically attractive, and most importantly: they’re waiting for a man with a kind character.
While Conjoint Analysis is a very complex statistical procedure, it’s safe to say that women are a hundred times more complex.
Of course, other aspects influence attraction like personal chemistry, common goals, or even a smell of a cologne…
The purpose of this video was to illustrate how a concept such as attraction can be deconstructed using Conjoint Analysis.
I encourage you to think about the great value conjoint analysis can have in understanding people’s preferences whether it’s about dating or more commonly about products or services.