I know firsthand what it feels like to fall head over heels for someone that just isn’t ready to commit. You feel undesirable and rejected, but more often than not, his commitment issues have nothing to do with you. And sometimes they even pretty 3 Good Reasons Why He Won’t Commit to a relationship.
So let’s think of this scenario. You’ve been with this guy a couple of months, maybe a few weeks, and you vibe, you share the same values, you really like each other, but for some reason you can sense that something is holding him back.
Whatever it is, he’s not ready to commit to the next level. Maybe it’s an exclusive relationship. Maybe it’s a deeper emotional level within the relationship or maybe it’s even marriage.
Whatever it is, it makes sense and it’s logical and both of you know it. However, he just isn’t ready. So in this video today, I really want to show you girls that there are three common reasons why men don’t commit that have nothing to do with you because I want you to stop thinking that something is wrong with you when really nothing is wrong at all.
1. He is Not Ready
Number one is probably the one that we have all heard way too often and that is that he is not ready. This explanation or excuse that some of us would say is so annoying.
As crazy as this might sound, men actually also have a timeline. Oftentimes we women selfishly only consider our own timeline, which is something like finish school, get a job, get married, have kids, buy a house, and live happily ever after.
All of this, preferably, by the age of 25, right? Men’s timeline. Finish school, get a job, find your purpose, build a career, live your best life, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after.
And all this, preferably, after the age of 25. So why are there so many more steps in men’s timeline than in ours? And that is because of two reasons.
For some reason, men think that their best life is before they get into a committed relationship because of all the freedom and the sense of self realization.
Why women think their best life is after they get married because of all the love and the experiences they get to share. But the second reason why there are so many more steps is because men have been taught that they have to be the provider in the marriage.
So for them it’s really important that they can provide and that they can take care of the future woman and kids. And obviously that requires a sense of stability and that’s why they really want to make sure that their life is a good life, that they can actually share it with a woman.
So as you can see, the timelines of men and women don’t align in the first place and the heavily influenced by both genders idea of ‘perfect timing’. I’m not saying that every girl wants to get married by the age of 25, and I’m not saying that no man wants to commit in his early 20s.
All I’m saying is that oftentimes the first reason why he won’t commit is because he has other priorities at this moment, which could be finances, family, life experiences, career, or traveling. And only once he feels that he has done all these things, will he truly be ready for a committed relationship.
2. He Is Just Not That into You
The second reason why you won’t commit will probably a rub some of you ladies the wrong way, which is that he is just not that into you. But I really want you to hear me out on this one because I really think we can actually learn something from guys here.
In contrast to a lot of women, men don’t stay in relationships that don’t serve them. Basically, if they are not attracted to the woman, if they feel that the woman’s not attracted to them, or if they feel like they are not being appreciated, they pretty much cut it off because they have a high sense of self worth and know that there’s someone else out there that appreciates them and that is right for them.
They do not desperately try to make it work or change the other person’s mind and instead they move on. What does that mean for the person on the receiving end that the guy might end things because he’s simply not that into you and do you know what? I actually think that’s a good thing.
Fact is not everybody is your type and you will not be every man’s type. See, the one thing you don’t want is to be with someone that is not truly excited about you or the relationship, but only stays in it because it’s comfortable and convenient. Instead you went, a man that truly desires to be with you and is excited about the relationship, right?
So if a guy answered because he doesn’t feel you like that, you have to find the strength to accept it and move on, so that you can get into a relationship with someone that desires you and deserves you.
3. Emotionally Unavailable
Last but not least, reason number three is emotionally unavailable. I know that there’s always a lot of fuss around the term and it’s almost used to insult men and women that don’t want to commit.
But emotionally unavailable, it really means that a man is avoiding vulnerability because he does not want to get too close to you. Meaning he doesn’t want you to share his real authentic self with you.
The person that has fears, dreams, and pain because he’s afraid to be too vulnerable. Instead, he will keep you at arms length and only share superficial self with you.
The person that has all his ish together, is happy most of the time, always smiles just so that he doesn’t get too close and doesn’t have to deal with the pain that comes with being in a relationship when you are really emotionally connected.
Why is he emotionally unavailable? That really differs from person to person. It could be that he has past trauma that he hasn’t dealt with, or maybe he fears being heard or he has different priorities in his life at the moment, it doesn’t have space for you, which brings us back to number one, right?
Either way, if he’s emotionally unavailable, then it means that he’s putting up this wall between the two of you that prevents him from being able or being willing to commit. Okay, I’m done.
These were my three reasons why he won’t commit and I’m not going to lie. This is probably the hardest article I have done so far because men just as women are multifaceted and one guy’s reason why he won’t commit will definitely differ from another guy’s reason.